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21 days to expand what you believe is possible — and build the self-trust to go after it.
Deliberately Unrealistic™ is a 21-day experiential challenge that helps you uncover what you actually want beyond external expectations and your own conditioning, and recognise the invisible limits shaping what you believe is possible, so that you can expand beyond them through tailored real-world experiences — building the evidence, confidence and self-trust to make your move without needing to know exactly how it will all turn out.
You can't think your way into self belief. It's a skill you build by experiencing yourself doing things you didn't know you could.
Step 01Reconnect With Your Own Signal
Turn down the noise from expectations, comparison, other people's opinions and your own overthinking so you can start noticing what you actually feel excited about.
You don't need to figure out your entire life. You need to get better at hearing your own desires before everyone else's ideas get involved.
Step 02The Invisible Ceiling
Take the things you're drawn to and uncover where you've already decided they won't work.
You'll start separating the facts of your current reality from the assumptions, past experiences and fears you've been using to predict your future — so you can see where you're making what's possible smaller before you've even tried, and start seeing routes forward you couldn't see before.
Step 03Expansion Through Experience
Get out of your head and create new evidence through lived experience.
Through real-world experiences tailored to you, you'll experiment with the things you're drawn to and stretch the edges of what's currently normal for you — building courage, resourcefulness and evidence of what you're actually capable of along the way.
You don't have to blow up your life or make one enormous leap. You expand through experience, one edge at a time.
Step 04Integration
Turn what happened into evidence you actually believe.
Instead of completing something difficult, impressive or scary and immediately moving the goalposts, you'll learn to recognise what the experience showed you about yourself and let it change what you expect from yourself next.
What once felt unrealistic starts to feel normal. Then you get to expand again.
I chose to be unrealistic.
When I worked for a global IT corporation my boss told me I was too idealistic. The fresh and somewhat naive 25 year old version of me that was pretty new to personal development believed, and told my manager, that everyone's lives would be better if the leaders would enthusiastically participate in their own personal development. He said that would be nice, but I had to be realistic. So, naturally, when the opportunity arose to speak to the global department head and ask for a budget to create a program, I drove 2 hours in my shit old car to deliver the fugliest presentation of my life on how the whole organisation would change if she just gave me money.
I didn't get the money I'd driven there for. I got something I couldn't have planned for instead. That meeting eventually led to me being sent to Prague to lead a huge team delivering services in 16 languages. From that point on I was launched head first into my own rapid transformation.
I wasn't particularly confident driving 2 hours in the rain to deliver that presentation, in fact, my hands were shaking. And every time I've had to level up since then has brought its own wheelbarrow full of self doubt and insecurities. It still happens now. Each time is an opportunity to deal with whatever I've shoved under the rug. We're like trees. Every time we want to grow upwards we also need to grow down.
Over the last decade this spiral of growth has repeated itself, across countries, Kung Fu school, businesses, relationships. And I still believe that everyone's lives would be better if the leaders would enthusiastically participate in their own personal development. Except the leader of your life is you. No one else can do it for you and no one is going to.
My invitation to you is to try it. See what happens when you hold yourself accountable and are given the tools and the support system to move through your doubts and insecurities into confidence and self trust. All you have to lose are pieces of your ego. But what you stand to gain is everything.
Everything you need to actually do this
For 21 days, you won't just learn about self-belief. You'll create the experiences that build it.
Guided exercises
Short exercises designed to help you hear your own signal, uncover your Invisible Ceiling and choose where you want to expand next.
Real-World Adventure Missions
Tailored experiments that get you out of your head and interacting with the possibilities you're drawn to — while building courage, resourcefulness and self-trust along the way.
The Proof Log
A place to capture what you actually did, what happened and what it showed you about yourself — so your experiences become evidence you can use long after the challenge ends.
Daily Check-ins With Me
I'll be there throughout the 21 days to help you work through what comes up, reflect on what you're learning and keep moving when you'd normally disappear back into your own head.
Short enough to finish
21 days. None of us were going to finish a "12 month container" anyway.
Fits the life you've got
You don't need to blow up your life. Deliberately Unrealistic™ works around the job, the relationships and the responsibilities you already have.
You're not doing it alone
I'm in it with you the whole way, every day.
Nothing dramatic happens if you settle.
That's what makes it so easy. You'll be fine. Five years from now you'll still have the job, the people, the life that looks good in photographs.
The ideas will just come less often. You'll stop mentioning them at dinner. At some point you'll find it a bit embarrassing that you ever talked about them, and you'll be the one telling someone younger to be realistic.
And years from now, when you're old and looking back at your life, you might wonder what would have happened if you'd taken yourself seriously. If you'd followed the weird ideas, tried the things that didn't make sense yet, and found out what you were actually capable of instead of deciding in advance.
Mediocrity doesn't even need to fight your dreams. It waits until you've forgotten you had them.
