By Asha
Society Sold Me A Lie.
Here’s why I demanded a refund.
“I kept telling myself I’d leave as soon as I figured out what I really wanted. That day never came.”
Chapter 01 — The Leaving
11 years ago I was sitting on a park bench in the middle of what looked, from the outside, like a perfectly good life. Good job. Good salary. Good CV. All the things you’re supposed to want.
But I didn’t want it. I’d never really wanted it. I kept telling myself I’d leave as soon as I figured out my purpose, but that day never came and 10 years of Monday morning dread and pointless meetings slipped by.
Finally I realised that if I kept waiting until I figured it out, I’d wake up old in 30 years time having never really lived. So I left.
What followed was 10 years of finding out the hard way what actually matters. I went to stay with monks in Thailand, lived in a kung fu school for a year in China. Built a business in Bali and dismantled it. Took a tonne of psychedelics. Spent 10 years on the hamster wheel of self development, “spirituality” and travel — courses, retreats, certifications, flights — searching for purpose, meaning, fulfilment.
Monks, mountains & martial arts
“10 years on the hamster wheel of self development — searching for purpose, meaning, fulfilment.”
Sleeping on a beach in North Bali
Chapter 02 — The Unravelling
About 5 years in, after letting go of my business, my health, my relationship and being 12,000 miles away from home, I slipped into a dark 8 month depression and I couldn’t see the point of any of it. I was obsessed with knowing where we come from, why are we here, what is the actual point of being on this earth. And I was ready to press the escape button.
So I asked for a sign. A bird I’d never seen before. And one swooped over my head while walking my dogs the next morning. I’ve had a lot of thoughts about that which I won’t share here but what I can tell you is that after that moment something shifted — not dramatically, but enough.
Enough to put one foot in front of the other. Enough to make peace with not having all the answers. Enough to start putting my whole heart into living and embracing the mystery of the ride.
“I slipped into a dark 8 month depression and couldn’t see the point of any of it.”
Chapter 03 — The Turning
Here’s what I learned:
Purpose isn’t found. It’s forged. You can’t curriculum your way to healing, promotions don’t curb the longing, and problems don’t disappear no matter how many flights you catch. Growth happens through lived experience — the willingness to pay attention to what the journey is actually showing you, and embodying the wisdom you find there.
When what you live in the world starts to change who you are on the inside, and what you understand on the inside changes how you carry yourself on the outside — you are on an upward spiral of growth and you are living the realisation of what your soul came to experience.
The Mission
Gap Life was born from that understanding.
Too many people are living lives they aren’t fulfilled by and wake up one day wondering, “Is this really it?”. It’s easy to get stuck on autopilot in the monotony of the familiar and lose touch with the quiet voice that knows there’s another way.
At Gap Life, we believe that life is not a series of checkboxes but a canvas for individual expression. And you have the ability to choose what you create. You create it by repeatedly paying attention to what pulls you (however small, weird or inexplicable), having the courage to step off the expected path, and discovering who you become through lived experience.
We exist to help wannabe corporate dropouts, would-be adventurers, and people who think deeply go off script and create fulfilling lives by following their own path.